I’m Trusting life’s timing –
Beda day 9 of 31
– mobile upload-
Scrolled across this on my timeline. Couldnt help but feel ‘chosen’ to see this right now.
I’m currently on my way to a new beginning. Im meeting someone new, for the first time since my break up.
Ive reconciled the break up on my mind. Ultimately, the decision to break up was the best decision at the time. Any other choice would have been selfish for either him or me. At first i was a little hurt that i lost my boyfriend. Its been a minute since i had one of those.
It was him who, ask me to be with him. I… didnt think we were really ready. We leaped anyways. Moving from friends to… a new thing. We never got the opporutnity to make that new thing right we never tried to define it and it broke us.
Living inside each moment. Im actually ok. My feelings were hurt for a second. But, you were right. Were better off apart. Were stronger apart.
It never felt like it at the moment, but in hindsight we were both bending our light. I was fully invested and kind of ok with the new experiences i was having. But you were right. This is the time we both have to beam as bright as we can. And… that couldnt have happened together. Right now. Given where we each are.
I learned so much and there truly usnt much to criticize in you. Its not worth it. And it wouldnt be authentic.
I do kind of worry that ill be just another memory to you. That…. would be the loss of such a great friendship. My boy that I enjoyed movies and museums and home workouts and spectacular-spectacular arguments with.
Yall, they were so great, lol. They were comedy! We argued three times. Once in Fort Greene Park, once somewhere that I cant remember, and of course the legendary battle we had at the New World Trade Observation Deck. I didnt get any picuters cuz i spent the whole time mad at some dumb shit he said as we got on the elevator. We amassed a 90$ wine bill from the sky bar. Off FOUR wines. Un-expected!!! LoL. I left from our failed bar convo – had to hop in a cab to high tail it to this NYCMENTEACH reception. One lesson i learned is how to keep a straight face in public, when it feels like your personal life is in shambles.
We made it thru tho. You made me stronger. Its a shame we can’t be together longer. You were there when i found my strength.
No more rambles