Check these readings out. I ordered these books back in 2015. December 31, to be exact. They are giving me ‘color’ on how to understand my dilemma with being treated as a decent citizen, worth acknowledging and treating with kindness and humanity.
Treatment we all deserve.
These are controversial and will JAR you. That is ok. Just read the ideas, and perhaps order the books for your personal library.
Neely Fuller, Jr – The United Independent Compensatory Code/System/Concept
Dr. Frances Cress Welsing – The Isis Paper: the Keys to the Colors
November 5, 2016 – Hello, this is Paladin from SkoolHaze.com and PaladinJordan.com
Fulfilling my day! Declaring that my day would be one of greatness.
Getting to the gym. Declaring that I would push myself to develop a healthy vision of my life and day. Nourishing and Training myself to a healthy model of myself. I ate like a champion and trained like a champion today!
Lower Body workout:
-Shoulder DB Raises
Seated Leg Press
Introducing the HackYourKnowledge.com course. Investing in my dream. I’m editing and and investing in graphics and resources for the course now. Performance coaching, setting and executing the goals I set for myself. Sharing my journey with you all. Learning a skill and applying that skill to your life.
Powerful communications –
Reaching out and contributing to my loved ones and hte people I’m connected to in powerful ways. Today was via email, but I’ve been on a journey to make every communication a powerful communication. I mean, its quite simple when you realize everyone and everybody has value in my life. Let’s make this work in the best way possible for the both of us. People… want it, and I want to give that.
Big ass chicken and Big ass drink. Enough said.
A quick break to just have some fun for a second
Content Creation Podcast
This is me creating a podcast to contribute to content for the site. A reservoir of information. A vessel of information in regards of knowledge hacking. developing my skills in the image that I want them to be. Trying to take some time to develop and create a chance for me to push out the skills and work that I say I want to push out. Visualizing and creating learning opportunities for myself.
Contributing works of value. I haven’t published. Its so hard to publish some times. Sometimes its hard to publish. But, I’m pushing myself to share and document as much as possible.
Setting myself up with a powerful 2017.
Trying to put something of value out. Trying to invest. And feeling uneasy about reception. Investing a lot and hoping that what I contribute is useful. Trying to speak to people in need of something a little more. I’m tryna make moves! I’m tryna be engaged. I’m tryna engage my people that I see! When I miss a move, when the energy takes me back to the move I try to engage!
Quick Networking Combo:
Hey whats up!? (Passes out business card, directs to contact info, directs to websites on the back) This is what I think. This is what I do. This is how I feel I can connect with you.
Sharing my info. Making connections
Comment. Shit 🙂
Let’s connect. Let’s build what we want.
Yo, have you heard about my free website building workbook? It’s a 6 page workbook to help you develop and share your personal brand. Its free!!! Download it here and shoot me an email with your progress, questions, next steps. Lets hold each other accountable!
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There is a struggle here. Something I’ve struggled to put into the words that even feel appropriate enough to share in a public space.
I’m sure this isn’t news to anyone except Black Men, but we struggle with relationship building. I think I get a double dose of it as a SGL (same-gender-loving) guy. I see and analyze interactions a bit differently than my straight and gay identified counterparts.
I shared the story of my neighbor (in the video) because it just befuddles me how, after realizing that you stay in the same building with someone, you can see them on the street and look past them, regularly. Like imagine me walking on the street, walking past the guy who lives in my building. Looking him dead in his face/eyes, giving a head nod, and him carrying on with his business. This specific interaction with this guy has happened… enough to the point where now I just laugh when I see him. I walked past him on the street yesterday, and he just looked at me, and I just shook my head and laughed.
To be clear, Black men aren’t the only people who struggle with relationships. But as a Black man, I’m most impacted and struggle with talking about and dealing with my relationships with other Black men – the most. Sometimes I think I’m too open and friendly and invested in the idea that everyone is a great and valuable person.
But I also know that part of our own downfall is our inability to recognize the strengths and value we can place in each other. Like the super duper gutter petty part of me wants my neighbor to be locked out or just need something that only I can give him one day. I really want to challenge myself to reach to my inner depths of petty to just ignore the fuck out of him and rub salt in his face for his inability to get out of his own way and open the door for… at the very least a platonic acknowledgement of existence… Something other than us walking past each other every damn day day ignorant of what we may actually be able to add to each others’ lives. If that day ever comes I’m kind of mad that I know I’ll probably choose to be bigger and just, engage. Even though at this point, I don’t want to.
I just really worry about us sometimes. Beyond the present – like no one really gives a damn about me and my neighbor’s relationship. But as a cultural…thing – like why are we so good at pushing each other away? Why do we value each other so little? Some of y’all may not be able to relate to the specific situations, but I wanna challenge you to think about areas in your own life where this may be applicable. I know that while I’m focusing on my neighbor here, and more loosely my ex and other men I’ve just had to deal with in life. I too am responsible for overlooking Black men in my life. Constricting myself to a “certain group” of people that I feel are acceptable to bless with my presence, and my friendship. Communicating in a way that shows certain men they are valuable to me and others that they aren’t.
What do strong relationships look like for you and the Black Men in your life? How do we develop relationships where we trust each other and support each other just as human beings here on Earth? Is that too lofty to think about?
I know its not, but I just wonder sometimes how we can make this different. We have so much to offer each other. How do we each begin to do the work to cross the bridge to connect? I don’t believe in a powerful and fully capable world where Black Men don’t and can’t connect with each other. I don’t want to live in a world were that is the only reality that exists. I’m sure I’m not the only one.
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I know some amazing Black women. A quick roll-call of the average Black women in my life would turn up an interesting combination of scientists, scholars, hustlers, and queens. The other day, my friend, and low key spiritual messenger dropped a gem on her facebook. I begged a little and got permission to share the gem with you all.
By – Alpha Woman Mishara
Lesson I Reflected on Today: I am an alpha woman. I was raised by an alpha woman and alpha god-mothers and alpha aunts. My closest female friendships that endure the tests of time, are always alpha women. I am attracted to alpha men, who recognize the power it takes to be vulnerable. I am attracted to alpha men who are attracted to alpha women. Women who are like lions.
It is important that alphas guard against the easy slide into arrogance/ self-importance and show complete respect for the power of betas. Power that we can learn from. It is important that we guard against unintentionally dominating every situation and taking up WAY too much space. But, it is also equally important for our emotional health that we do not try to stuff our lion’s manes into a ponytail holder and pretend to be bears or other species we are not.All creatures deserve to be [as they are].
Some men and women become resentful, when they cannot “break” the lioness. Some women and men are most comfortable with women who apologize for their existence, try to make their presence smaller and apologize for taking up any time. I am not that woman.
As I continue to practice humility and appreciate the lioness I am, I have to remember a woman who loves herself is sometimes a scary creature for us all. Because she unknowingly becomes the mirror with which we examine ourselves.
Stop conforming to make yourself, your existence, and really, your people seem more appetizing to those that could care less. Stop holding yourself back from your true being. Actually my bad, I forgot I’m trying to write and speak in the positive…
You do not have to conform yourself or hold yourself back to find peace and comfort in this world. Peace and comfort come from being your full self. Peace, comfort, and glory come from allowing your full exoticity flow through through the breeze of life. Can you imagine a lion walking into the plains with its mane pull uncomfrotably back just to make the others less aware of the space it was born to take? Why do we feel so comfortable diluting ourselves so that others, that don’t care about us, can be bother-free?
To my peers, know that we are all learning to understand and manifest our full potential and glory on this Earth. Know that I see you, and hope for the day that you spread your full wings and really set this world ablaze with your brilliance and spark. We’re waiting bro. We’re waiting sis. Be you, and do you. To the fullest. That’s really all we have on this Earth. Like – Comment – Share
Thank you Mishara. I always love following your Light!
*The following is a letter received from a SkoolHaze reader. Names were changed to protect privacy*
HI, Well I know this is completely random.. I don’t know if I am intruding into your personal space. I am Tanvi, I am pursuing bachelors in computer science here in India.
Lately I have been concerned about the LGBT status in our country. I am currently working on a project towards bringing awareness that LGBT individuals are not “unnatural” as many conservative heads proclaim. As a part of this I have been trying to understand gay love, about which I know nothing at all.
I would like to interact with you, really looking forward to make a new friend… hoping to hear from you.
With lots of love, Tanvi
Sorry to hear about the injustices going on in your home country. I’ll do my best to help you with your project. What parts of gay love do you want to know about?
Hi Skool, I am happy to hear from you. Well I want to know few things:
1. Is being gay in any way associated with being more feminine? I suppose it’s just the sexual orientation.
2. I would love to hear any gay love proposals and what kind of love he looks forward to. Like for example a girl dreams that her guy should be someone that is really caring, understanding and there is this iconic going on knees proposal and all that. What would the dream boy for a gay person be like and the dream proposal?
Having said that anything that you can share I would be happy to hear 🙂
Yours lovingly, Tanvi
Cool here we go Tanvi,
Is being gay in any way associated with being more feminine? I suppose its just the sexual orientation.
Sure. Some people associated gayness with femininity. Some people, as soon as they learn you’re gay, want to know if you’re self-described as masculine or feminine. I would characterize these people as simple to say the least. Immediately, I know what type of person I’m dealing with, in America, when I hear this question. Especially because this question mostly comes from other men that are also within the gay spectrum. When men on the spectrum ask this question they are almost always probing for sex. And they are almost always simple-minded. Not because they’re probing for sex, but because they equate sufficient sex down to a handful of descriptors, one of them being one’s self proclaimed masculinity/femininity, which we can agree has no play on a person’s ability to provide sexual gratification.
What does feminine mean? Its my understanding that feminine means a lot of things. In its essence it is a neutral term. Meaning something prescribed or most frequently connected to females/women. There in its essence is not positive or negative value ascribed to the previous sentence. Or at least there shouldn’t be. Here in America many of my peers very recently even have taken the time to talk about how strong women are in 2015. They are leading families, they are leading companies, they are leading their communities, they are doing it all. Think Serena Williams. There’s nothing inherently weak about her. However, for some reason, we’ve allowed ourselves to create a society across the globe that trembles and infuses shame whenever men are connected with anything culturally-prescribed as inherently feminine. At the same time, we do the opposite whenever a woman demonstrates a behavior culturally-prescribed as inherently masculine. Here, we infuse pride, success, and achievement into the women and scenarios attached.
I got a little off topic there. In short, yes, there are indeed some connections between gay men and culturally-prescribed female traits. However, keep in mind that these are only some of the many things that are connected or indicative of homosexual men as an active subset of humanity. I think it is imperative to note that these culturally-prescribed feminine traits do not serve to pump up or dismantle anything within the gay culture, or humanity, as femininity, itself, is not a singularly positive or negative trait(s) to express. At different levels of my maturity, I have struggled to continuously develop my understanding of “normal” behavior.
While we’re working to open up our communities to be more inclusive of our gay populations, and marginalized populations in general, we have to be sure not to continue to instill negatively-framed language or vocabulary against any of the members of our communities.
I would love to hear any gay love proposals and what kind of love he looks forward to. Like for example a girl dreams that his guy should be someone that is really caring, understanding and there is this iconic going on knees proposal and all that. What would the dream boy of a gay be like and the dream proposal.
I think love is love. We are entering an era now where men and women all over are taking advantage of this opportunity to marry and enter life-long commitments with the ones they love regardless of what they look like. That opportunity wasn’t available a generation ago. I’m interested to see how the gay community here in America works to develop marriage and love in its own image, shaping larger American culture.
With that being said, I can say that personally I’ve never really thought about an engagement story. To be honest, I would really just prefer to have someone to love me unconditionally. Someone that was fully interested in building and leaving marks on this world long after we ourselves stop moving about it. That’s the kind of dream guy I’m interested in… He doesn’t really need to do much else but love me and we’re good. Hopefully I’ll work on getting more creative here in future. I will say, that one of my gay associates, seems to be engaged to his lover. And its humbling, annoying, and inspiring to see all of his engagement-to-wedding pictures on Instagram. His image alone is helping me, frame what love in the future may be for me one day.
Hope this helped, Skool
What do you think? Share with someone you think will have an opinion on this idea. Come back and share your comments below.
Also, if you have a question, feel free to shoot it to me. I will do my best to answer.
Ok, so my goal is to actually get this post out. I’ve tried to write this two times before this and I just ended up trailing off in a blur.
Life is so different for me now than it was for two full years ago. You see, I’ve realized that the time I spent in Boston is a memory now for me. For so long Boston was my life, it’s finally dawned on me that I’ve been in NYC long enough to have created new memories. And in order to do so I often pull back to my time and experiences in Boston. The Bean really was a starter city to prep me for East coast living. Now, being a near two year resident. I can even begin to pull on early experiences living in the city to help push me through to bigger and better with my future. I know that sounds weird – but I want to create history. I’ll say it, even though I feel like its one of those things they don’t like to hear black people say. Of course, my boy Kanye agrees.
We read Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass in my Sophomore English class this cycle. I love reading about Black/African history. It enriches my soul. Imagine that we’re all sitting around making our own history, stories that people will read and learn from and engage with and write about…etc… LoL. I mean, I definitely want this blog to be a part of that history. Y’all can think I’m crazy. I don’t even care anymore. #Kanyeshrug
I read it (The Narrative) for a second time this summer during my reading marathon. That was really dope by the way, and I can’t wait to do it again this summer. One of the books I’m really excited to get into is Introduction to African Civilizations by John G. Jackson. I got to steal some time and read the first two chapters a few weeks ago during winter break. I was a HUGE Discovery/History Channel/Documentary person growing up. I’ve heard stories about the evolution of humans, but conveniently I’ve never heard much about how this evolution took place on the African Continent. The early chapters of the book discuss this evolution and actually use really engaging language that is easy to understand and follow. In a nutshell it talked about how pre-humans evolved into barbaric humans. Then how barbaric humans turned into civilized humans living in ever growing groups that turned into actual civilizations. It also talks about how humankind went from being a matriarchal society to patriarchal society.
Speaking of making history…. I mean making historically wise decisions for myself. I’m facing a tough situation at work – again (see Schoolhouse Blues). Long story short I feel like admin has taken aim on me over some bullshit. She wasn’t happy with my peroformance, and as a result gave me some very low marks on my evaluation. The difference between this time and last time is I was actually prepared to talk about it and call her evidence into question. Our last few meetings have looked like this –
I feel like I’ve stepped into a battlefield over the past two weeks, and most folks are recklessly aiming somewhere in my vicinity. Work is a mess man. Classes are ending, Classes are starting, teams are changing to frame a bit of it. The amazing difference is that I actually know my value now and have been far less hesitant giving my opinion on why things that affect my work are the way they are.
I made a conscious effort to wake up and have an amazing and jam-packed Friday. And I was pretty successful. Outside of all of the other trimester ending activities listed about, I had an early morning IEP meeting that almost didn’t happen do to scheduling and communication challenges. IEP’s were one of the most daunting things to figure out 2 years ago. The paperwork behind the scenes is still a nightmare – and to be honest one of the few areas where the powers that be try to act as though I’m incompetent. None the less, the meeting went very well and was probably one of my strongest to date. I made a quick smartboard presentation that helped the fluency of the meeting. I may try to upload the pres once I wipe all the personal information.
Most importantly… and the only thing I’ve really been trying to share over the past few weeks is that I’ve FINALLY made my first curriculum. My post graduate prep course has finally finished its first iteration. I remember back in Boston there used to be all this talk about making a curriculum or finding curriculums that spoke specifically to the students were dealing with back then. Talk about being lost! I’ve finally made my first real curriculum and it feels great. The curriculum as is is far from perfect and there’s plenty of room for growth. But having the skeleton feels amazing! Some of the things I’m looking forward to incorporating this time around is more creative writing, more critical thinking, more activities, more take home resources, more technology skill development, and… better resources in general. If you know any 😉 def send them my way.
I cant think of much more to say. And of course, this was sooo much better in my head. But oh well. Just like the gym sometimes you just gotta get in there to get the kinks out so that next time things turn out even better.