Choosing to be Intentional: Beda day 10 of 31
Today, my intentions are to really invest in my meaningful relationships.
My relationships suck. Ive known this forever. Theres never been a time i havent known this.
However, it wasnt until this weekend that i was able to fully confront my role in how I’m not using my power to make changes to how, at the very least, i engage in my relationships.
Relationships broadly: family, romantic, social, professional, service, all.
I had a great conversation with my mom. I’ve really tried to incorporate her more into my life. I told her about my break up. Which may need a little context. If you dont care jump down.
Context: If I can be honest with yall for a second – this summer, literally like 3 weeks ago when i was home, was the first time i had even told my mom about homie. She was shady………. She went like super duper full force kamikaze style shade too. Like my mom isnt shady. She’s not that lady!!! But she ver much was like…. thats fine, be careful hes no using you. And be careful because not all people are genuine. I deflected and gave “Heffa – im not even hear for you tryna yuck my yum” – In the most respectful but also matter of fact way possible. LoL. It was a cute exchange. Because we both were so serious.
I dont care: I told her about the personal discovery workshop I attended this weekend. I told her that in my wildest dreams I would love for her to come out to the city and participate in the experience. I rambled through like… 5% of the activities and how i had built a new community with the participants.
I was slightly shocked when she responded with interest in the program. We continued our conversation. It was the first opportunity i had to just…. share my life and love for her – intentionally.
Im also… currently… sitting at my exes crib, lol on his couch. Lemme explain, Lemme explain!!!!! So in short i had actually deleted all forms of communication. Everything. Call logs, pics, texts, whatsapp, skype. Everything! He hit me this morning… and… i didnt know who it was. I think that startled him cuz he called right after.
I had literally just woken up, but I seized the moment to tell him that above all else – my friend was something i wasnt willing to lose, but that his # and contacts weren’t things i needed in the moment. They were distractions from recovery. He shared that he had some stuff going on with his fam and that he needed to take a nap. I offered my friendship in his time of need… and as you see I’m here. Im tryna be intentional with maintaining my friendship. So im trying to make the moves within my power to desig. And create that.
For those interested the personal discovery workshop organization I participated with is called Momentum Education. They have offices in NYC, DC, LA, and Seallte.
This wknd I attended the Basic Training. And at the end I signed up for, and paid for an Advanced Training Class.
Another intention – Do not hesitate to invest money into your personal development. Based on the free training I experienced i absolutely felt the price was worth another 4 days of even greater tool development.
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