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The Purge – Doubt

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The Purge – Doubt

So I’m looking at this like it’s a masterpiece body of work, that’s what my Kanye, Jay Z, and Beyonce albums have taught me this year. When you drop your shit, let your shit DROP. Each operated outside of the industry norm, and thusly made history and garnered respect and attention on levels unseen.

I actually wonder if each artists’ contribution to history will be recognized for the real benchmarks they have set. Kanye completely spoke out against capitalism… 1 percenter, and global oppression to the masses. The fact that he did it aggitatingly, without relying on the very same industry (institution/rules/laws) promo channels was indeed genius. He really set the stage for Jay-Z to come out with his Samsung 1 million-unit presale deal. The premise of this deal is pretty ridiculous from an artistic standpoint when you think about it. Jay Z had them pay him, to buy his album to platinum certification level. It’s like the realization of commercial rap going commercial. The art-gallery performance to top it off was a great way to showcase his talents using an altered stage.

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And now, Beyonce with this hidden jem of quality abushed by demand. Mind you this is Beyonce from around the block… I’m talkin No, No, No, Part 1 version – the one before Wyclef! If memory serves me right I believe Immature were the love interests in the video. Regardless of all of our politically correct-feministic assessments of her, she has clearly shown an immaculate history of presenting quality! Quality Talent. There is something to be learned here. Beyonce is making us know her as the standard. In real time. There is something to be learned here.

Anyway, part of what makes great art and a great story is taking chances. Or at least that’s what I’ve picked up from other “successful” people. I preach a lot on here. Which is intended more as a personal documentation. But there are things that I just doubt right now. I hate talking about doubt. It’s an expensive feeling to deal with and I’m already on fumes most of the time here. But, here is a list of things I don’t have the answers for right now.

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– Am I doing enough for my community? I just don’t think I use my time as well as I believe I should and could. I spend a lot of time just stuck, without motion mentally. This usually happens after work and lasts for a few hours. It’s become a huge waste of time. I need to find a way to fix this, and soon.

– I want to do more mentoring work with my peers and my students. I think I get along well with my students in general. Perhaps too well, I’m at a point where I feel confident saying I know my students. To a point where I’m ok with my opinion being different than others, which happens frequently. However, I’m not sure I’m using that unique connection as effectively as possible in preparing newer academic entry points for my students. 1. I’m slippin. 2. I gotta get on that!

– I’m a complete goof at networking and socializing. It’s just not something I’m good at. Some people seem to have a really intimate grasp and understanding of that. And others don’t, at all. Which really just contributes to why I’m such a confused person to begin with. It’s a thing that I’m really trying to get better at. I’m just going at an awkwardly slow pace.

– I don’t connect with family and friends as often as I would like. It’s weird because I draw so much inspiration and value in who I am from my family and who they inspired me to become. We are a representation of the energy we absorb. I’m so grateful to have experienced and learned from the people in my life. For that I say thank you. But never enough.

– I love reading… my mind and eyes simply can’t consume as many books and thoughts as I would like them to take in. I’m experimenting with audio books and just audio in general. It may be a shift I soon have to make. The perfect listening time is during my transitions to and from work.

– A dream of mine would be to communicate as clearly as Malcolm. When he speaks I can visualize what he says, he made clear and vivid images, stories and points when he spoke. I always felt like I understood what the message was he was trying to send. Where as when I speak I repeat things a good three times and hope my students take away a tad bit from my lectures.

– I absolutely don’t ask probing questions. Part of it is a nature to just let you do you. And another is this assumption that you will share whatever you feel comfortable sharing. I don’t really dig for what isn’t given unless I’m compelled to. I’m starting to ask more questions just for the hell of it. But also feel like I have a long way to go especially in regards to my students.

– I don’t know what the I think about tenure right now, as in I don’t know if I’m looking to seek tenure. I mean… why?



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